


The Secrets of the Playboy

by dottieyo



Category: South Park
Genre: Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27600877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottieyo/pseuds/dottieyo
Summary: When the new girl comes to town, she gets hit on by the biggest playboy in school. Then he dies infront of her and now everyone's pretending it didn't happen.What is up with this orange parka wearing freak?
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Reader, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

"Y/N! What the hell are you doing?" I stepped out of my room and looked down the stairs. My mom was standing at the end of the staircase.

"I'm moving my dresser into my room." I said calmly. We just moved into this house and I was getting settled. She was putting in a pair of earrings when finished my sentence

"Well, I told this guy that you were at a sleepover so you got to be quiet when he gets here okay sweetheart?" She looked up at me

"What why?! Why didn't you just send me off somewhere then?"

"Sweetheart, It's cold out there"

I rolled my eyes

"Don't act like you care"

I walked back to my room to finish moving the dresser

"Y/n."

I slammed my door and sat onto the made bed moved here a week ago It's a sunday night for christs sake and she's bringing a guy over I start my senior year tomorrow. I looked at my nightstand to see the picture Sitting there. It was a picture of me and my dad. My parents were divorced and i had lived with my dad for years until he died in a fatal car crash.

I wiped my eyes and turned off my lamp. Opening my Curtains, so the moonlight could give a faint glow in my room and I would be able to somewhat see what I was doing. I saw headlights puling into our driveway through all the snow. I rolled my eyes for the second time that night and went onto my dresser. Looking for some kinda snow jacket, my dad bought me. Finding a thick dark purple one, l put on and looked around for mittens. I wanted a five finger pair but I couldn't find any. My hands would be freezing, I really need to find a pair. I heard laughing from downstairs and I growled. I opened my window and stepped onto the shingles of the roof from the first floor, stepped towards the edge, and looked around my backyard. I would regret this if I didn't have a way back in. I felt my jeans pocket and felt the house key that my mom gave me just moments before. If anything I can just 'Come back from the sleepover' I was at. They probably be off to the bedroom by then though. I jumped off the roof and rolled. Shook off my shoulder and walked through our back gate

It was pretty quiet. People were driving in the street still. It was only 10 pm when I jumped out the window. I walked down the street After a while of stumbing, I made it to a basket ball court. There were some drunks by the bathroom but for the most part the court was empty. I couldnt see the court actually Just the goals. About an inch of snow was on the ground so couldn't see nothing but white.

I sat ontop of a table top. Jumping up onto the table and putting my feet on the seat. I run a hand through my hair and try to relax. I shove my hands in my pockets and breath out.

"Fucking Mountain town." I muttered. I watch as breath floated through the air. It was so cold, i could see my own breath, or maybe I should've brought a thicker sweater. I sat there for a long time, looking at the stars. I thought about my dad, how my life suddenly flipped for the absolute worst. Things should've never gotten this bad but here I am. I rubbed my hands together for the 5th time that night My pockets couldn't keep them warm enough

We've spent the week getting me settled into my new house and dealing with the legal shit. Friday my mom enrolled me into South Park High. I could've done homeschool but she insisted that i go to highschool and go to prom and all the other lame highschool shit. So now i have to deal with shitty lunches and fake friends, Fun. I would've been much better off doing homeschool. I'm a smart kid, I'm not gifted or anything but I'm great at teaching myself things. It's kinda what you need for online schooling and such. It's why so many kids don't do it Then again so many think it's easy as balls and you can sleep in til 3 PM doing whatever you want. Not the case.

I shook my head and rubbed my hands together again. God we're stupid-smart. We are stupid but somehow smart at being stupid. You'd be surprised at the amount of ingenious ways I've seen a kid cheat on a test, rather then just study for it. We could do so much if we put our minds to it but we choose to act stupid. Then again, It's sometimes the only way to get what you want.

"You know, It's a little late to be out here in the cold for a lady?" I brushed my hair aside to see who had said that.

Some guy in a purple suit with a green question mark. I couldn't really see his face. He looked like some wannabe super hero

"Who are you?"

"I go by Mysterion What are you doing out here so late?"

"It's not that late." I muttered

"It's almost 2 am." I could hear the smirk in that sentence.

"Shit." I hopped off the bench almost tripping because i had been sitting for so long. He put his arms out to catch me but i brushed him off.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"It's not really your business."

I started walking and he put his hands up in defense. "Okay, touchy subject." He started to walk in step beside me.

"What are you doing?" I said in exasperation.

" It's 2 am. I'm not letting you walk home You're clearly new in town." He said.

"What gave it away?"

"That you went out at night to the basketball court. You're lucky the homeless folk were asleep. That's their 'Private public' Property." He said

I nodded but didn't say anything else on my way home. I will admit it was stupid of me to lose track of time like that. We reached my house and I pulled out my key and quietly opened door. I turned around to thank him but he was gone.  
I shook my head and walked inside the dark house. I went to my room and collapsed on my bed. Barely managing to shrug out of my snow covered coat. I went to sleep within seconds.

Tommorrow will be hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**BZZT BZZT BZZT**

I threw the alarm clock at the wall in exhaustion. The thing came unplugged and my room was once again blissed with silence

I sighed in peace and started to get back to my happy dream about bubbles or something.

Then I heard the front door slam and I jolted awake.

I heard yelling and I was very confused. I walked out my room and stood at the top of the stairs.  
There were two guys and my mom was arguing with one at the door while hugging the other.

"YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?! WHAT ABOUT ME?!" The guy yelled at her.

"I TOLD YOU WE WERE THROUGH!"

I slowly walked back to my room and checked the time on my phone. I sighed and started to get ready for school.

Grabbing my bag, phone and charger I started towards the window.

No way was I trying to go past the scene at my front door.

I walked towards the bus stop. I forgot my jacket and I'm only wearing a T shirt and a sweater.

When I got there, there were like 4 kids there all about my age.  
Two kids were yelling at each other. One in a green hat with red curls sticking out from under it. The other being a kid on the bigger side. The had choppy brown hair sticking out from under his blue and yellow beanie.

There was a kid in a blue beanie with black hair trying to calm the red head down and there was another kid just watching them with shaking shoulders.  
I could see blonde hair sticking out from under his parka.

As I got closer I could hear the argument.

"You fucking jew! I said I'm big boned!"

"You ate all my gummy worms you fat ass!"

"Well I can't help that they were in grabbing range!"

"Oh my god! I cant stand you!" 

Red head crossed his armed and blue beanie pat his shoulder.

I stood next to the laughing kid in orange.

"Oh great! Why is a girl at OUR stop!?" I heard the fatass yell. Then everyone turned to me.

I looked awkward for a second before I waved.

"Hi, I just moved down the street over there and this was the closest bus stop." 

They all stared and then Red head shrugged.

"Well, I'm Kyle."  
"I'm Stan Marsh and that's Cartman." They both said.

"Oh, Like Ms. Cartman? I met her at the store last week, she was so nice-"

"She's a bitch." Cartman said. Looking off crossing his arms. I shook my head and looked at the kid in the orange hoodie. He had been staring at me for awhile. Finally he shook his head and smirk.

"And I believe, I'm your next boyfriend."

I frowned

"Ignore Kenny, He flirts with everyone." Kyle said getting between me and Kenney.

I giggled. "Okay then." 

The bus pulled up and the old lady yelled at us.  
I got on behind Kyle, infront of Kenny.

Cartman hogged a whole seat to himself. Stan and Kyle sat with each other and that left the last seat avaliable. I sat there and Kenny slid in next to me.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Great." I muttered.

"Hey, this was my seat first." Kenny said leaning back. I saw him lift his arm up to his mouth and I realized he was hitting a vape pen.

I watched as he slowly breathed out so he didnt breath out smoke.  
He looked towards the window past me and I decided too look out the window too cause I don't have any interest in conversation anymore.

********

We made it to the school and everyone started to get off the bus. Kenny sat there for a minute and i was trying to get him to move.

"Dude, we gotta get off." 

He held his hand up staring at someone I followed his line of site seeing Cartman taking up the isle.

"I always wait for Cartman incase he gets stuck." He said chuckling.  
Once Cartman got past, he stood and let me go infront of him. I thanked him and got off the bus.

Kyle was waiting for me and Kenny to get off the bus.

"Where's Stan?" I ask.  
Kyle just dejectedly pointed and I looked to see him making out with some girl.

"Ah. What about Cartman?" I muttered

"Fatass always goes for school breakfast." Kyle said walking into the school.  
Kenny and me followed behind and I saw Kyle headed towards the lockers.

"You can keep your bag if you want. The lockers aren't necessary." Kyle said to me. I nodded as we got to Kyle's locker. He opened it and 3 other people come up.

"Kyle." One said. 

Kyle turned and I watched Kenny do some kinda bro handshake with one of them.

"Tweek, my dude." Kenny said. The kid, Tweek, looked nervous but completed the handshake.

"Is the stuff working?" Kenny asked.  
"Y-yes. I might need something stronger for attacks." He said twiddling with his bag straps.

"No worries, dude." 

"Hi, I'm Y/n." I introduced myself to the three of them. Well I guess to Kyle and Kenny too.

"I'm Craig. This is my boyfriend Tweek. And that's Token."  
Craig introduced me to everyone.

They all seemed really sweet.

"Come on, Y/N. Let's get your schedule." Kyle said.

He walked me towards the office and while we were walking I felt people glaring. I thought it was at me but I saw them staring and muttering about the boy next to me.   
I looked over but he just kept his head down.

I tried to ignored it and soon enough we were at the front office.

I saw some kid sitting in the lounge area in the chairs.  
He had bright blonde hair that was shaved on the sides and a big scar over his left eye.

Kyle led me to the desk.

"Hi, she's new and needs her schedule." The bell rang and Kyle turned to me.  
"I gotta go to class." I waved him goodbye and he waved back. 

"Alright, So you're Y/N L/N I presume? Here's your schedule and... Scotch!"

The blonde kid from earlier jumped up as his name was called.

"Show L/N all her classes and then escort her to 1st period!" She handed us notes for our teachers.

"Yes Ma'am!"

Is that a southern accent? Or is that not even accent? I couldnt tell. He had this way of talking .

"Oh geez okay, I'm Leo but everyone around here calls me Butters."

"Like butterscotch?" I asked. I loved those things 

"Yeah!" He opened the door for me and I followed through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my internet is out. Slow updates are to be expected


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